Humor - PSP Newsgroup 26 Aug 2005
This has nothing at all to do with Paint Shop Pro, of course - TrevorF
While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the North?" When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, (and has for some time), she shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff." She also votes, drives, raises kids, and pulls jury duty! Oh, and uses a cell phone when she drives!
Which is why the owner's manual for almost any electrical appliance says to make sure the appliance is plugged in when it doesn't work. And even smart people sometimes forget to think.
Cyberdroog came back with:
I once went on a service call for a PC that wouldn't start up. I found the PC plugged into the power strip, and the power strip plugged into itself. Easiest $75 I ever made.
Democracy: Two wolves and a lamb voting on the issue of what to have for lunch.
Republic: A Democracy where two hundred wolves and one hundred lambs elect two wolves and one lamb as their representatives to vote on the issue of what to have for lunch.
Constitutional Republic: A Republic with a Constitution guaranteeing that lamb is not on the lunch menu. Eventually the Supreme Court rules – five wolves to four lambs - that mutton is not the same as lamb.
I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call centre. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call centre was open. I told him, "The number you dialled is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week."
He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?"
Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific." He also votes, drives, raises kids, and pulls jury duty! Oh, and uses a cell phone when he drives!
So my colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard one of the admin assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the shore. She drove down in a convertible, but didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving. She also votes, drives, raises kids, and pulls jury duty! Oh, and uses a cell phone when she drives!
My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car. It's designed to cut through a seatbelt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk. My sister also votes, drives, raises kids, and pulls jury duty! Oh, and uses a cell phone when she drives!
My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount. He also votes, drives, raises kids, and pulls jury duty! Oh, and uses a cell phone when he drives!
I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, "Wouldn't the chain rip out every time she turned her head?" I explained that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned.
My friend also votes, drives, raises kids, and pulls jury duty! Oh, and uses a cell phone when she drives!
Spike